Pain Fuels Hope

Pain Fuels Hope

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Ever since I was a little girl I hated Christmas. One of the last memorable Christmas I had was when my mom and dad were together and I was 7 years old. All of my aunts and uncles on my father’s and mother’s side would gather at our family business, El Migueleno, in Seaside, CA. My mom and dad both purchased a Nintendo NES System with two controllers and my favorite game Super Mario Bros 3 (Mario as a raccoon). It was beautiful to see both of my parents hold hands and dance.  When my mother decided to seperate from my father, it was hard to see those fun Christmas times when both our sides of our family (paternal and maternal) were gathered in one room disappeared. 
As a teenager, I numbed the pain by creating fun activities for both my siblings whom are 8 and 10 years younger than me.  I would create scavenger hunts around our apartment with their Christmas gifts and their faces gave me the purpose to create a fun Christmas for them.  Inside I hated Christmas, the songs and decorations.
When I got married… I hated decorating and even shared with my husband the reason why and he respected it but as our daughter grew to become a pre-teen, she shared her desire to want to decorate our home and to invite family over like the Christmas movies.  I will confess that during my marriage, I have had tantrums to not want to celebrate Christmas due to the pain I carried for so long.  This year by writing and learning to be balanced. I did something this year that gave me hope.  I made plans to go up Northern California and spend time with my parents and create new traditions.  Which included watching a comedy at the movies, eating breakfast or even dolling up my mother for a photoshoot at the beach during the Christmas weekend. Then this  Christmas Eve, I drove six hours back to get my home ready for my family Christmas party.
This last Christmas, I invited all of my in-laws, future brother-in-law, nieces, nephews, new friends and sister.  We all had one of the most beautiful Christmas that I felt like that young 7 year old girl witnessing all of my aunts, uncles, parents and cousins laughing and dancing.  The new tradition in my home now is eating, talking about the goodness of God, and finishing up with a game (battle of sexes) which the boys always wins. But I know we ladies got them next year!
This new family Holiday tradition “fuels hope”

 

#ootd 

Black Ribbed Dress (Similar)

Olive Green Bomber Jacket (Here)

Black Pointy Booties (Here)

Fendi Monster Handbag by Trendlee (Here)

Rayban Clubmaster Sunnies (Here)

Photography by S. Lindsay Bonilla

In this post was in collaboration with Christlife, Ami Club Wear and Trendlee.  All opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all Blue Lilly Pad collaborations!

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