My whole life I can remember I have always been a very angry person and at times I can become “Hurricane Patty” where I can lash out and go off including when I was a child. I am not proud of this but I’m learning more on how to control it. I used to be very easily irritated and working with “at risk youth” it has opened my eyes that this behavior is a learned behavior from my environment. Working with youth, my main ministry of being a wife and mother has been humbled and I have learned to practice patience.
I remember my first burst of anger was one when I was eight years old, my mom was pregnant with my baby sister and my mother’s due date was on my birthday. I wore this nautical stripe jumper thinking that many will come to my 8th birthday to celebrate, but my mother informed me that there would be no birthday due to having my sister. It tore me apart due to me being the only child and two days later my baby sister was born. The sad thing is that both my parents were not educated or understood child development. Every time I see the picture of me holding my sister, you can see a very bitter child and when I see this photo it tears me to pieces. That same year my mother and father separated… My mother, without informing my father, took my baby sister and myself to a one bedroom studio apartment. It was one of the hardest years of my childhood of being in the middle of my parents. My anger grew from child to adulthood… That every time I would get upset my throat would hurt and anxiety would cause shortness of breath.
I was not the easiest person to be around even though I am a very talkative and outgoing person. The smallest thing would set me off and once again, “Hurricane Patty!” would appear. My baby sister taught me so much about patience that I admire her so much for it. She showed me that this behavior is not acceptable and that I could lose the best relationship if I did not change. I read many books on anger management and what really helped me was this bible verse… that I am still praying that I will master this:
“In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:26-31
Today I made a decision that I can be angry but not to act out on it.
- Think and ask myself, “Is it worth it to be angry about this?
- Stay calm
- Think before I speak
- Let it go because it is not worth it for my health
I have even walked away from stressful situations and thanks to my sponsor I will be working out at 24 hour fitness.
I also have learned to laugh and smile more; even when I get angry.
Note To Self!
“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Proverbs 29:11
Photography by Maireinz
Dress by Stop Staring
Heels by Ami Club Wear
Sunnies by Ami Club Wear
In this post was in collaboration with Stop Staring. All opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all Blue Lilly Pad collaborations!